Wide Awake

I can't believe it's almost the weekend again!! This week just flew by it seems! It has been pretty busy at work this week so I'm sure that has something to do with it.

Although, this week, I've had a hard time sleeping. These past two mornings I've slept through my alarm, but thankfully my internal alarm has woken me up both times, JUST in time to hop outta bed, get dressed, brush my teeth and race to work, literally.

Today, I guess everything just finally caught up with me. Lack of sleep, not eating healthy etc. I woke up completely exhausted, nautious, dizzy, chilly and my mind just seemed to be somewhere else. Unfortunately, sick days aren't a luxury when the person I get to call in sick to is....ME! On my mind all day was my bed. I couldn't wait to get home so I could go to bed early, catch up on some well needed rest and be prepared for the weekend. But yet, here I am, it's almost 9 and I'm still up. And I most likely will be until about 2 or 3 am....

Busy day yesterday, long, busy day at work, got my nails done, came home and by that time it was getting late. Still, wide awake and couldn't see myself falling asleep early, I decided to find a nearby indoor pool to go get some excersise with my roomate, Ashley. We ended up swimming some laps (to the best of our ability) and just relaxing in the steam room and hottub after. I figured maybe that would tire me out. But no, my head finally hit the pillow at 4am. After some vigorious tricycle training around the house. Kael, I swear... I'll pump up those tires before you learn how to ride it.

This isn't very new to me though, in highschool I would stay up till about 5 or 6am, and get up for school at 8, or sometimes, wouldn't. My mom recently told me even as a baby, she would have to wake me up in the morning and I would be in-consolabe when she tried to pick me up. I just wanted to stay in my crib, alone.

Clearly I have some sort of insomnia, not sure how severe... all that I know is, I want it fixed!! Life would be so much easier if I had energy and could get a good night's rest everynight!!

Warm milk, doesn't help. Sleeping pills make me groggy the next day. Excersise, nope. Alcohol, nope. Warm bath, not even close. And there's no way in hell that I will turn to perscription drugs. I'd rather not be reliant on a pill to get me to sleep every night, for the rest of my life.

I won't even start on my eating habits, because...well that's a new story in itself. Maybe another day...

On another note.

I'm so very excited for this weekend! Tomorrow after work I'm headed down to Crescent Beach (YES, A BEACH OHMYGOSH!!) to visit a friend and see his new house he moved into. Oh, weather, you BETTER cooperate because I can't wait to dig my toes into the sand! Being from Comox, it's quite strange that the beach just isn't a five minute drive away from any locaton I'm at. So yes, I'm VERY excited.

And again, if mother nature wants to be an angel... Ashley and I are hopefully going to take Kael to the beach, spend the day in the sun, wear sunglasses, flip flops, and jean shorts and pretend like it's hotter than it acutally is. And then complain the whole way home because we were stupid enough not to bring sweaters.

Canucks play on Saturday so I'm gonna put out my themed shirt and do what I do best, drink beer and eat wings and yell at a T.V.

Sunday, one of my bestest, oldest friends is visiting. Hopefully will be bringing a ticket with her for me to see Brooks and Dunn, and if not, that's okay, I will settle for girl talk and shopping downtown :)



So there you go. Look at me. I started out negitive, tired, and gloomy. Spun it right back around to pick myself up with the simple pleasures in life, like great friends, sand between my toes, flip flops and laughing! What would life be like if we didn't have these simple pleasures to look forward too!

All is going to be okay... but ask me again on Monday.



I'm off, to drink warm milk, in the bath, while doing situps. Maybe that'll do the trick.

Thinking about the past, wondering about the future...

Old friends have been on my mind lately. Maybe it's because I'm in a new city and am having withdrawls of friends that used to be near and dear to me. I'm not sure...
Some have moved away, some haven't, some I've lost contact with and certain relationships I just no longer have with people.
Friends are hard to come by, best friends are even harder to come by. Recently I've lost a best friend and unfortunately I just don't think it's a void that can be filled by anything or anyone else. Especially when it's your best friend that hurt you so much in the first place. I can't help but let it affect me. I've become very jaded by this.
As big as this city is, I still feel alone most times. I miss my family. I can't just drive ten minutes to be in my mom's arms, or eating her delicious home cooked meals anymore. These are the things I took for granted before, and miss now.
I am out of my comfort zone for once in my life, and it's definitely harder to adjust than I thought. I guess I have mixed feelings about it all. One day I will see my glass as half full, the next... It will be half empty.
But now, the time I do spend with my old friends and family will be more cherished. It's something to look forward to and not to be taken advantage of. Although I still feel as if a piece of me is missing here...
I was lucky. I moved here with two people who are amazing friends, (well two and a half) friends that I can lean on, and depend on. I also have some family over here to keep me grounded. I have re-connected with some old friends here that I probably wouldn't have gotten the chance to if I still lived in the Valley.
It's nice to visit, but yet doesn't feel like home anymore. I'm in the, "in-between", i figure and I haven't quite decided which side I weigh more on. The impatient me just wants to fast forward a year and know where I'm at and what I will be doing. The other part of me, let's call it the, "glass half full", part, just wants to sit back and enjoy this journey and take everything day by day. It's life. It's scary, exciting, joyful and crazy!
BUT
I'll figure it out, I always do...
After all, I AM allot smarter than I look.
Dr. Seuss once said, " On you will go, through the weather be foul. On you will go, through your enemies prowl. Onward up many a frightening creek. Though your arms may get sore, and your sneakers may leak. So be sure when you step, step with care and great tact, and remember... life's a great balancing act. And you WILL succeed, yes you will indeed!! 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed!"

It's the weekend!!

Having a Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 job really grounds you. You literally live for the weekends. And then the weekend comes, finally. And before you can blink your eyes, it's gone. So I try and make the best of it, whether it be filling my agenda with events or just having some good ol' "me" time.
This weekend I'm doing a bit of both.
Friday night was spent at a local pub with a old friend watching the Canucks game. Pretty nice little hole in the wall pub we found though, cheap, the live band was amazing, big screen tv's for the games and the raffle draws are free as well. I won myself 20 bucks last night, was REALLY hoping to win the Canucks jersey, but maybe next time...
Today, my roomates and I went to Science World. I have never been so I really didn't know what to expect. I think it's definitely one of those places you can't go to frequently because it gets very repetitve. But this experience was great for me (as I am a kid at heart). I lost majorly at the brain wave game. Turns out I'm not very good at relaxing and shutting my mind off... who knew? haha.
And holy effin eh, an OMNIMAX theatre?! Now i know what is in the top of that Science dome. And damn...Kelly Slater is definitely now on my hit list of husband to be.
I'm glad we had Kael with us, well...because it sort of gave me an excuse to act like a kid and goof around with him....although, knowing me... I would do it anyways.
And to the MC with the profound studder at the omnimax theatre, if you are reading this, I'm sorry, you tried your hardest but I just don't think your in the right profession. A for effort?
I'm really craving pasta and ice cream tonight... which if you knew me well enough, is odd. Thank god it's cheat day so I think eating out is in order tonight.
What's happening tomorrow? Who knows, and I don't plan on deciding because I think those days just turn out the best. One thing I do know is that if those asshole neighbours of mine decide to hang ONE more picture frame right behind my head at 8am again, I'm gonna have to go George Bush on their asses.
Gotta love being a minority...

That's it, maybe something dramatic will happen to me soon so you guys have something worthwhile to read about, until then, ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!!
-The happy Jenna (weird, I know)

The day after hump day...

I wake up to a smiley 2 and a half year old each morning.
I give him our little kitten, Sawyer to play with to keep him entertained till his mommy gets up.
This is probably the greatest way to start each morning, somebody greeting you with a smile and just generally pleased to see you.
And then I realize he's off to his wonderous world of snacks, napping, playing and pudding.
I'm off to a job I have to be at, to pay the bills. Oh how nice it would be to be a carefree kid again.

Today I had:
-A demonic lady screaming at me because SHE lost part of HER jewellery I sold her, I'm sorry... but how is that MY problem?
-A black guy with his pants around his knees and over-sized DG sunglasses on (inside), asking for my number and giving me flack because I wouldn't give it to him. Needless to say his name was Avinish.
-A new friend bring me a great book I'm excited to read.
-Two people dear to me I unexpectadly bumped into, rather, they bumped into me. I've known both since birth, from Powell River. What a small world. Really.

All in all, work wasn't too un-bearable today.

When I got in my car to drive home, I had a urge to just keep driving. Not sure to where, I just wanted to drive. After being cooped up inside all day I just wanted to feel the wind on my face and the sun on my shoulders, man I just miss summer so much. So generally... what did I do then?
Went back into another mall?!
Smart Jenna, smart.
I can't even REMEMBER the last time I bought something for myself, clothing wise and the feeling of summer approaching just made me do exactly that.
Pretty pumped on getting 3 shirts, 1 sweater, and a dress for $39 bucks.
Next up? Bathingsuit shopping... but before that can commence, this diet needs to get kicked into high gear. But yet, I still slip up from time to time and my will-power seems to hold strong at the best of times.

I like my life. Generally. There seem to be more down's than up's at the moment. But... I'm trying to live day by day and take it all in stride. Or look at the bigger picture. It's supposed to go something like that right?

And as the morning started, tonight ended with a kiss on the cheek from a certain two and a half year old, saying "Goodnight Tenna"... It's times like those you see nothing wrong with your life and just hope to be as blissfully happy as a kid again.

That's all.

I just don't know

This seem's extremely personal, or impersonal (whichever way you would like to look at it).
But I thought I'd give it a go. What do I have to lose?
I'm asking myself why I am about to tell my computer screen my up's and down's of life, as crazy, stressful, sad and depressing as they may get... and cannot seem to deal with it all in regular life, without this laptop staring right back at me?
It's because life doesn't have a backspace button.
Issue's that have bothered me for years, I cannot take back, I cannot undo. I simply can't just, backspace them.
My best friend recently told me I could seek help of a professional outsider. Somebody with no insight to my life and they could help (mainly because I think she's on the verge of punching me in the jugular if I come to her with yet ANOTHER problem). Most of you twits in the real world would call this a, "shrink". Well, I came to a conclusion, this blog is a helluva lot cheaper than a shrink.
I wouldn't consider myself psych ward material just yet, but this blog and time, will tell.
I'm 21 years old... 20 friggen 1
I figure...
I should nip this in the bud before my best friend Ashley is calling Intervention on my ass.

This is me, blogging...

Reason why NOT to blog:

1. My computer re-started itself when I initally tried to create this account

2. My keyword to finalize this account was "dad's hoe's"

3. 99.9% of readers who read this blog will most likely hate me when the find out who I truly am.

4. My life seems shockingly vanilla when put into words.

Reason's TO blog:
1. To intentionally piss off 99.8% of my soon-to-be readers.

2. Shit, the pro's out weigh the con's...