Hello, hello hello.

Well...

It's been awhile since I've posted. Life's been a little bit...busy. And amazing... let's start with the amazing.

I've now been in Australia for 3 months now.

Life is wonderful. It started out in Brisbane which I spent a month, and Kelly and Wayne were so nice to have (and put up with me) for that long but I got a bit antsy living in such a beautiful place and realizing there is SO much more out there I need to see so....

I took one look at the Gold Coast and six days later, lived here. I live a minute walk from the beach and a thirty second walk to work. It's paradise.

I feel like there is so much to say, to tell and I have left it so long it's all a blur. I've cuddled koalas, danced on the beach at night, surfed, met amazing people who are now friends, met up with old friends on this side of the world, saw a big bridge....lots of them, been lonely, been happy but most of all, have smiled the most I think I've ever smiled in my entire life!!

There is so much more to come and it's exciting... really really exciting.

But there's allot I can't tell you right now...

We will save that for another time!

Goodbyes...

So... It's been awhile since I've wrote here...

I guess I have just been super busy with life. Since I last wrote 2 months has gone by, and gone by quickly.

So what have I been up to? Pretty much just working away. This summer has kind of been a blur. With trips back home, Kelowna and sometimes just bumming around here. Been to Playland a few times... Took a trip up to Salmon Arm, Vernon and Kelowna awhile ago, met many new people, did some strenious tubing, discovered a lake around my parts that's been a pretty chill place to hang out, kind of busy for my liking though... nothing beats Barber's Hole or Puntledge River.

Since living here I've met some pretty rad people... people who I hope to keep in touch with when I leave and even an amazing person who is also going down to Australia right after I am! I've gotten really close with my Uncle and saw lots of my cousin whom I didn't really know much before I had moved here. And he's actually a family member I can get along with and doesn't drive me nutso!!

I HATE saying goodbye's, absolutely hate them. I had to say my first goodbye today. And yeah, she was my employee and I have only known her about 2 months but it's weird... you know some people for such a short period of time and connect with them on a certain level and then life happens... and you don't know when you will see them again, if... ever. You both will never been in that spot in life again at the same time. It's so crazy.

On the horizon I have many more goodbye's to say and to hell if I know how I am going to deal with that!! So in ways I'm super excited to go, super excited for new experiences, new friends, new dreams and hopes but on the other hand I'm leaving all that I know, EVERYTHING! I'm being a big sap, I know, I know but I have a few close friends... and my close friends are REALLY close, so to know that they aren't in the next room, or even a couple of hours away scares me.

Ok, I'm done being all wimpy and stuff.

So, I have my room all packed up (well, most of it) and am cramming it all into my little car for when I move back to Comox on Saturday. Just like I did on the way over... my knee's will probably be smushed against the dashboard and when I arrive I probably won't be able to move my legs. But it's all so worth it!!

I'm having a BBQ to celebrate my 22nd Birthday and my going away shindig on the 4th with all my close friend's and family, I hope most of them can make it!! It'll be nice to see everyone I love and care about together! :)

My mummy is driving me to Seattle on the 8th of September and off I go. I don't quite want to think about the flight yet. I'm deathly afraid of flying and if my body could cope with sedatives, I would take them, but it doesn't. So I need to figure out a way around that one.

Well, I have to go pack up my fish's belongings because I have found him a new home. At a pond in a liquor store. He is truly my fish. I'm sure he can't wait to meet his new friends.

Dammit, see... another goodbye.

K.

Goodbye.

77 days...

Readers!!
Exciting news...

Booked my flight to Australia last weekend!! I will departing for Brisbane, Australia on September 8th, 2010. That's something like 77 days I think... not that I'm counting though.

It's been the plan for the awhile but never really managed to act on it, get my gear together and actually put my plan into action. But being away from, "home", and moving to a big city... spreading my wings you could say... has just made me ready. And I couldn't be MORE excited

about it!!

I will be staying with family friends, and my new friends, Kelly and Wayne when I get there, for how long? Who knows. But I mean, how amazing is that... what kind people to just say, "Hey, we want you to see this part of the world, get your butt on over here, no looking back!!" Some people would be just plain dumb not to jump on an oppurtunity like that!! The plan is to get some work out of the way first and then start the travelling. I have a cousin up in Darwin who I am really hoping to see as well but I don't quite know where this is going to take me yet! Which is probably the best part of it all.

So I'm here for the summer, just working away... saving what I can and living my last summer in Canada (for awhile anyway!) to the fullest. I've been all over the map lately. Haven't actually been home in the past four weekends, just kinda...can't sit still. I just wanna be anywhere, nowhere and somewhere all at the same time it seems.

I came down with a HORRIBLE sickness two weeks ago. Thought I had it under control so I did go ahead with my Kelowna trip and visited Sammy. I guess I was wrong. I came back and fell so sick that I couldn't get out of bed for two days... after one lonnnnnnggg trip to the Emerg. Pulled a muscle in my neck and have been in some harsh pain since... and still can't function it properly, man... I will never take my neck for granted again! Haha. The end result? Morphene and Tylenol 3's REALLY do NOT agree with me....

I'll stick to chicken soup and gingerale next time I figure.

Two weekends ago was Kelowna, I had never really spent time up there before, I've driven through a few times but never actually gotten to know the city and wow, it really is amazing! A little expensive for my liking but If I wasn't leaving I would definitely consider living there. Seem's like allot of fun. Spent 2 and a half days with the best friend and some other friends. Ahh it was a good time and I was pretty stoked my car made it there and back!! Haha. We went to the Vernon water slides and I think all but 1 of us left with some pretty lobster looking skin. I'm already planning my next trip... Mid July I'm thinking... hmmmm.

Went back to Comox last weekend because I booked myself off for a long weekend. And spent quite a bit of time at the beach. Had a blast with friends & family. Ugh, I'm REALLY going to miss a certain few :( But truth be told, true friends are true friends regardless of where you live in the world. I'm soon to find out...

SO life is getting better, bit by bit... I'm feeling a little all scattered around but it'll come together in the end and I'm working my hardest to see the light at the end of the tunnel and achieve true happiness!!

Dinner time! I'll write again, soon? No promises... but I'll try!!

xo

(And mom, none of this was possible without you, I LOVE YOU!!)

Hey, I'm back!!

I guess not needing to write here is sort of a positive thing, as I usually only write when I need to vent about something or have nobody to talk to.

Tonight I visit this blog in really high spirits. I've been a really happy person lately, even I am enjoying me!! I don't even know where to start, I don't even know why I am in such a great place lately, I just don't know... I just know I'm happy and I'm loving life and all that it has to offer me right now.

Where did I last leave off? Laura and Kaylee visited. The next couple weekends I did end up back in Comox for visits. Visited with my friends Kelly and Wayne who came all the way from Aus, had a kick ass game of badminton, spent some time with my brother and friends that I haven't seen in awhile... enjoyed some of their company, and some... well I didn't.

One of my highlights about back home was sitting on my parent's deck, cuddled up in some blankets talking to Kelly who was sitting right beside me (complaining about Canada's "cold" weather, in May..) a friend I've met only twice... but someone I feel I've known almost my whole life. A person who understands me for me and you know... just one of those people you can talk to about anything. Although she may not agree with some of the things I do, or some of the problems I have, she is always ready and willing to talk to me and coach me through things. Ahh!! I'm even finding myself tearing up here!! I had a really good visit, I actually left Comox feeling different. Just... different. Positive.

Another moment I kind of just wanted to freeze in time was when my friend Jillian and I were sitting in her car with a huge bottle of wine, with her front tires touching the ocean, we were litterally on the edge of the world it felt like and that's where I wanted to stay. Just wanted to stay there talk and stare at the most beautiful view, the ocean and the mountains... I feel extreme piece of mind when I am near those two elements and I really didn't want to leave, it's home. The company & conversation was great, if any of you reading this now can tell me how to make these experiences never-ending... please let me know.

I think moving here was a stepping stone for me, one that I needed. I don't feel un-easy about my future, I don't feel aprehensive about trying new things, stepping outside the box and doing something in life I'm unsure about. I can do anything I want, I will do anything I want and whatever I do, I will succeed. I have huge plans for myself, sort of a secret for now... BUT give it time...

I'm feeling really connected to people in my life right now, people who love me and people I love in return, I feel like me, completely me. I don't have somebody by my side to need to feel that anymore, it's such a fantastic feeling I can't quite describe.

I'm heading up to Kelowna tomorrow for the weekend to visit my best friend, Sam... gonna do what we do best... talk, tan, drink and hit some friggen waterslides, I can't wait. SUMMER is here!! Well 11 days to go really...

Ok so my happiness and love right now is sort of just too much to blog about... like really. I feel like I'm bursting at the seams! To top it all off, I'm sick. I'm sick as hell and I still feel this amazing inside. How awesome is that?!?!

I need to go pack, thanks for listening!! xo

Im sorry...

Well it seems like I've been neglecting this blog... and I'm sorry. There's just been allot going on it seems. And blogging is not my #1 priority. But it'll be nice to catch up!

This week of work seemed to fly by, yet again!! Had a nice visit from my friends Kelly and Wayne, who are visiting from Austrailia. Did some window shopping, and went out for dinner with them... showed them around where I live and then wished them on their way as they were heading to Seattle, then back to the Island where I will meet them next weekend!

My friend Laura and her baby Kaylee came to visit this weekend. Which was spectacular because I haven't seen Laura and Kaylee in... 5 months I think. And wow she has grown... well her hair has, haha. She is now 17 months old and I met her when she was in her mommy's tummy, oh how time flies!! I hated when I'd see my parents friends when I was younger, and they would CONSTANTLY say that to me... but it's true, when you see a child grow up, time DOES fly. My roomate's baby... Kael who isn't such a baby anymore... he will be 3 in less than a month, and I met him when he was still in a crib... I went from "Nen, na" to "Tenna" to "Jenna". It's crazy how fast time just passes you by.

We decided to have a girls night on Friday and go out dancing. Ahh it was long overdue and we had an amazing time with friends!! Feels good to just let loose, dance and make a fool of yourself (including the McDonalds playplace at 3am!!) But we sure did pay for it Saturday morning, after 3 hours of sleep and kids waking us up at 7:30am!! But still, well worth it.

Headed down to White Rock beach, played in the sand and wished for the sun to come out... but it decided not to. Laura, Ashley, Kael, Kaylee and myself packed up and headed to Misson. Met some of Laura's old friends, it was nice to see where she came from before I had even met her. It was nice to mix old friends with some new ones! Long day though, we were all exhausted, finally made it back home by 11pm and we all passed out pretty hard.

Today, Sunday, was well needed. Just a day of lounging, cuddling, cleaning and relaxing. Kaylee took a trip to the doctor's and found out she has bronchitis, poor baby. So her mummy and her had a nice nap for the most part of the day, not before all 5 of us (and kitty) cuddled in my bed and watched Finding Nemo.

JUST finished a yummy dinner of chicken, fries, potato salad and green salad. Said goodbye to Laura and Kaylee, to Kael's dismay of wanting to go with them in the, "big truck". We will see them next weekend though, when we head home for May long weekend :)

It's sad to see the weekend coming to an end, but knowing it's a four day work week (took off Friday!!) makes it THAT much better. Will head back to the Island on Thursday night untill Monday evening. Can't wait to see Kel, Wayne, Mom, Dad, Ben and lot's of friends next weekend!!!

My shorts are on, the window's are open and I may just go for a walk in the sunshine tonight!! Finally feels like summer is here... and I couldn't be happier!

More Crap

Okay...

I'm tired, I'm exhausted and I'm not too sure why I am writing on here in that state, but I am, so here I go.

I can't believe how SLOW five working days go by and how FAST two days off go. I think something is mechanically wrong there. Like there MUST be some hours missing on Satuday and Sunday.

Friday, I went down to the beach, walked along the water, realized I was friggen cold and that the beach is much more enjoyable in the summer. Although I did have a good time.

Saturday I watched the Canucks win at a pub down in Crescent Beach, had some drinks down at the beach. Watched my friend's girlfriend run into the freezing water to win a hefty bet, and was so very thankful that it wasn't me who was swimming at 10pm on a chilly May day.

Let's just say it was a good night that ended up in a scary little hole in the wall on King George Hwy. Haha. Or Boulevard as I should call it now right, because they are trying to clean up Surrey and by switching it from Hwy to Blvd helps right? I just love paying taxes...

Sunday was pretty relax, downtown with Sam, did some window shopping, saw quite a few people I haven't seen since grad. Had a few awkward moments with random people I didn't really know in a hotel room, all in all...still good haha.

The Shark Club really felt like home when I was greeted by people wearing cowboy hats, cowboy boots and generally NOT over-dressed like most uptight city folk.

Too bad I didn't get a ticket for the concert but I was well updated with friends texting, although I couldn't make out much of what they were saying anyways.

Monday came, and I felt very fufilled, pretty happy to be living here at this very moment I'd say. Truthfully I'm excited for the day (hopefully soon) where I can move to a place where I can walk down the street after dark, drive with my doors unlocked and maybe even not have to witness crackheads on a daily basis!! But untill then, I'll look on the bright side, I have a head over my roof, amazing roomates, a job that pays me, food in the fridge, great friends and family who love me!!! So locking the door every night seems like a small sacrifice. Should probably learn how to use that home alarm system though I think.

Kelowna this weekend with Sam, short trip but I have NO doubts it will be anything short of amazing. Poor Roland, I feel sorry for you already!!

Pretty much counting down the days till May long weekend where I get to go home, see friends and family and hang out for four days!! Crazy how much you appreciate family more when you don't live around them.

Alrighty, well it's WAYYY past my non-bedtime. You know. A bedtime. The things people set as deadlines for the time they have to be asleep by, the one's that are never abided by. Ya, one of those. Dirty Dancing just finished downloading so I'm sure I'll be fine falling asleep to Patrick Swayze swaying those hips of his.

Goodnight!!

Wide Awake

I can't believe it's almost the weekend again!! This week just flew by it seems! It has been pretty busy at work this week so I'm sure that has something to do with it.

Although, this week, I've had a hard time sleeping. These past two mornings I've slept through my alarm, but thankfully my internal alarm has woken me up both times, JUST in time to hop outta bed, get dressed, brush my teeth and race to work, literally.

Today, I guess everything just finally caught up with me. Lack of sleep, not eating healthy etc. I woke up completely exhausted, nautious, dizzy, chilly and my mind just seemed to be somewhere else. Unfortunately, sick days aren't a luxury when the person I get to call in sick to is....ME! On my mind all day was my bed. I couldn't wait to get home so I could go to bed early, catch up on some well needed rest and be prepared for the weekend. But yet, here I am, it's almost 9 and I'm still up. And I most likely will be until about 2 or 3 am....

Busy day yesterday, long, busy day at work, got my nails done, came home and by that time it was getting late. Still, wide awake and couldn't see myself falling asleep early, I decided to find a nearby indoor pool to go get some excersise with my roomate, Ashley. We ended up swimming some laps (to the best of our ability) and just relaxing in the steam room and hottub after. I figured maybe that would tire me out. But no, my head finally hit the pillow at 4am. After some vigorious tricycle training around the house. Kael, I swear... I'll pump up those tires before you learn how to ride it.

This isn't very new to me though, in highschool I would stay up till about 5 or 6am, and get up for school at 8, or sometimes, wouldn't. My mom recently told me even as a baby, she would have to wake me up in the morning and I would be in-consolabe when she tried to pick me up. I just wanted to stay in my crib, alone.

Clearly I have some sort of insomnia, not sure how severe... all that I know is, I want it fixed!! Life would be so much easier if I had energy and could get a good night's rest everynight!!

Warm milk, doesn't help. Sleeping pills make me groggy the next day. Excersise, nope. Alcohol, nope. Warm bath, not even close. And there's no way in hell that I will turn to perscription drugs. I'd rather not be reliant on a pill to get me to sleep every night, for the rest of my life.

I won't even start on my eating habits, because...well that's a new story in itself. Maybe another day...

On another note.

I'm so very excited for this weekend! Tomorrow after work I'm headed down to Crescent Beach (YES, A BEACH OHMYGOSH!!) to visit a friend and see his new house he moved into. Oh, weather, you BETTER cooperate because I can't wait to dig my toes into the sand! Being from Comox, it's quite strange that the beach just isn't a five minute drive away from any locaton I'm at. So yes, I'm VERY excited.

And again, if mother nature wants to be an angel... Ashley and I are hopefully going to take Kael to the beach, spend the day in the sun, wear sunglasses, flip flops, and jean shorts and pretend like it's hotter than it acutally is. And then complain the whole way home because we were stupid enough not to bring sweaters.

Canucks play on Saturday so I'm gonna put out my themed shirt and do what I do best, drink beer and eat wings and yell at a T.V.

Sunday, one of my bestest, oldest friends is visiting. Hopefully will be bringing a ticket with her for me to see Brooks and Dunn, and if not, that's okay, I will settle for girl talk and shopping downtown :)



So there you go. Look at me. I started out negitive, tired, and gloomy. Spun it right back around to pick myself up with the simple pleasures in life, like great friends, sand between my toes, flip flops and laughing! What would life be like if we didn't have these simple pleasures to look forward too!

All is going to be okay... but ask me again on Monday.



I'm off, to drink warm milk, in the bath, while doing situps. Maybe that'll do the trick.

Thinking about the past, wondering about the future...

Old friends have been on my mind lately. Maybe it's because I'm in a new city and am having withdrawls of friends that used to be near and dear to me. I'm not sure...
Some have moved away, some haven't, some I've lost contact with and certain relationships I just no longer have with people.
Friends are hard to come by, best friends are even harder to come by. Recently I've lost a best friend and unfortunately I just don't think it's a void that can be filled by anything or anyone else. Especially when it's your best friend that hurt you so much in the first place. I can't help but let it affect me. I've become very jaded by this.
As big as this city is, I still feel alone most times. I miss my family. I can't just drive ten minutes to be in my mom's arms, or eating her delicious home cooked meals anymore. These are the things I took for granted before, and miss now.
I am out of my comfort zone for once in my life, and it's definitely harder to adjust than I thought. I guess I have mixed feelings about it all. One day I will see my glass as half full, the next... It will be half empty.
But now, the time I do spend with my old friends and family will be more cherished. It's something to look forward to and not to be taken advantage of. Although I still feel as if a piece of me is missing here...
I was lucky. I moved here with two people who are amazing friends, (well two and a half) friends that I can lean on, and depend on. I also have some family over here to keep me grounded. I have re-connected with some old friends here that I probably wouldn't have gotten the chance to if I still lived in the Valley.
It's nice to visit, but yet doesn't feel like home anymore. I'm in the, "in-between", i figure and I haven't quite decided which side I weigh more on. The impatient me just wants to fast forward a year and know where I'm at and what I will be doing. The other part of me, let's call it the, "glass half full", part, just wants to sit back and enjoy this journey and take everything day by day. It's life. It's scary, exciting, joyful and crazy!
BUT
I'll figure it out, I always do...
After all, I AM allot smarter than I look.
Dr. Seuss once said, " On you will go, through the weather be foul. On you will go, through your enemies prowl. Onward up many a frightening creek. Though your arms may get sore, and your sneakers may leak. So be sure when you step, step with care and great tact, and remember... life's a great balancing act. And you WILL succeed, yes you will indeed!! 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed!"

It's the weekend!!

Having a Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 job really grounds you. You literally live for the weekends. And then the weekend comes, finally. And before you can blink your eyes, it's gone. So I try and make the best of it, whether it be filling my agenda with events or just having some good ol' "me" time.
This weekend I'm doing a bit of both.
Friday night was spent at a local pub with a old friend watching the Canucks game. Pretty nice little hole in the wall pub we found though, cheap, the live band was amazing, big screen tv's for the games and the raffle draws are free as well. I won myself 20 bucks last night, was REALLY hoping to win the Canucks jersey, but maybe next time...
Today, my roomates and I went to Science World. I have never been so I really didn't know what to expect. I think it's definitely one of those places you can't go to frequently because it gets very repetitve. But this experience was great for me (as I am a kid at heart). I lost majorly at the brain wave game. Turns out I'm not very good at relaxing and shutting my mind off... who knew? haha.
And holy effin eh, an OMNIMAX theatre?! Now i know what is in the top of that Science dome. And damn...Kelly Slater is definitely now on my hit list of husband to be.
I'm glad we had Kael with us, well...because it sort of gave me an excuse to act like a kid and goof around with him....although, knowing me... I would do it anyways.
And to the MC with the profound studder at the omnimax theatre, if you are reading this, I'm sorry, you tried your hardest but I just don't think your in the right profession. A for effort?
I'm really craving pasta and ice cream tonight... which if you knew me well enough, is odd. Thank god it's cheat day so I think eating out is in order tonight.
What's happening tomorrow? Who knows, and I don't plan on deciding because I think those days just turn out the best. One thing I do know is that if those asshole neighbours of mine decide to hang ONE more picture frame right behind my head at 8am again, I'm gonna have to go George Bush on their asses.
Gotta love being a minority...

That's it, maybe something dramatic will happen to me soon so you guys have something worthwhile to read about, until then, ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!!
-The happy Jenna (weird, I know)

The day after hump day...

I wake up to a smiley 2 and a half year old each morning.
I give him our little kitten, Sawyer to play with to keep him entertained till his mommy gets up.
This is probably the greatest way to start each morning, somebody greeting you with a smile and just generally pleased to see you.
And then I realize he's off to his wonderous world of snacks, napping, playing and pudding.
I'm off to a job I have to be at, to pay the bills. Oh how nice it would be to be a carefree kid again.

Today I had:
-A demonic lady screaming at me because SHE lost part of HER jewellery I sold her, I'm sorry... but how is that MY problem?
-A black guy with his pants around his knees and over-sized DG sunglasses on (inside), asking for my number and giving me flack because I wouldn't give it to him. Needless to say his name was Avinish.
-A new friend bring me a great book I'm excited to read.
-Two people dear to me I unexpectadly bumped into, rather, they bumped into me. I've known both since birth, from Powell River. What a small world. Really.

All in all, work wasn't too un-bearable today.

When I got in my car to drive home, I had a urge to just keep driving. Not sure to where, I just wanted to drive. After being cooped up inside all day I just wanted to feel the wind on my face and the sun on my shoulders, man I just miss summer so much. So generally... what did I do then?
Went back into another mall?!
Smart Jenna, smart.
I can't even REMEMBER the last time I bought something for myself, clothing wise and the feeling of summer approaching just made me do exactly that.
Pretty pumped on getting 3 shirts, 1 sweater, and a dress for $39 bucks.
Next up? Bathingsuit shopping... but before that can commence, this diet needs to get kicked into high gear. But yet, I still slip up from time to time and my will-power seems to hold strong at the best of times.

I like my life. Generally. There seem to be more down's than up's at the moment. But... I'm trying to live day by day and take it all in stride. Or look at the bigger picture. It's supposed to go something like that right?

And as the morning started, tonight ended with a kiss on the cheek from a certain two and a half year old, saying "Goodnight Tenna"... It's times like those you see nothing wrong with your life and just hope to be as blissfully happy as a kid again.

That's all.

I just don't know

This seem's extremely personal, or impersonal (whichever way you would like to look at it).
But I thought I'd give it a go. What do I have to lose?
I'm asking myself why I am about to tell my computer screen my up's and down's of life, as crazy, stressful, sad and depressing as they may get... and cannot seem to deal with it all in regular life, without this laptop staring right back at me?
It's because life doesn't have a backspace button.
Issue's that have bothered me for years, I cannot take back, I cannot undo. I simply can't just, backspace them.
My best friend recently told me I could seek help of a professional outsider. Somebody with no insight to my life and they could help (mainly because I think she's on the verge of punching me in the jugular if I come to her with yet ANOTHER problem). Most of you twits in the real world would call this a, "shrink". Well, I came to a conclusion, this blog is a helluva lot cheaper than a shrink.
I wouldn't consider myself psych ward material just yet, but this blog and time, will tell.
I'm 21 years old... 20 friggen 1
I figure...
I should nip this in the bud before my best friend Ashley is calling Intervention on my ass.

This is me, blogging...

Reason why NOT to blog:

1. My computer re-started itself when I initally tried to create this account

2. My keyword to finalize this account was "dad's hoe's"

3. 99.9% of readers who read this blog will most likely hate me when the find out who I truly am.

4. My life seems shockingly vanilla when put into words.

Reason's TO blog:
1. To intentionally piss off 99.8% of my soon-to-be readers.

2. Shit, the pro's out weigh the con's...